Tuesday, June 29, 2010


I know the International Reader's aren't going to get it (or WILL THEY??), but I'm being driven mad by a mattress company here in Seattle (probably it's really a national company) that advertises cheap deals on beds because the mattresses and box springs don't match. Well, at first it seemed sort of sweet that they were trying to give the mattresses and box springs a good home like mixed race puppies, but it just occurred to me that this has been going on for about 15 years and the fact that they can't seem to get their fabric situation going on is beginning to seem indicative of a lack of organizational skills.

I know it can't be easy getting the last mattress and the first box spring synced up, like trying to jump on a merry-go-round, but Jesus, maybe the 5 year goal down at the mattress/box spring factory should be fabric matching.

It's sad to listen to the commercials, the mattress people are clearly busted up about the problem and don't know what to do, other than to sell them cheap, because damn it, it happened again. Maybe they should scale back to one fabric until they get their sea legs.


You know how the World Cup has been going on for about a month? I'm not sure how it works but I think if your country can come up with a soccer ball you are in. Isn't it just tiresome? There are about a million teams, and all they do is play soccer. Soccer is boring as shit.


I went to the grocery store and brought a plastic container and had the person put some salad in it. The guy behind the counter was real confused. He put the price tag label on an empty plastic bag and handed it to me obviously unclear how to deal with a person who didn't want a new plastic thing. I peeled the tag off of the plastic bag and gave it back, then put the label on the top of my plastic container lid and it was fine. It was a little Laurel and Hardy there for a minute, but we got through it.

I did the same thing with a glass container I brought to QFC, the woman just zeroed out the scale and weighed the noodley stuff, and that was that.

I went to Starbucks with a cup, and I don't even know why it was just a ceramic mug and not a travel mug. I do really, but it would take a long time to tell you and it's not that interesting, so anyway. The Starbucks chick didn't bat an eye, and I didn't use plastic or paper. Try it. Just do it every time really. There is an argument that the travel mug is better, for one thing there is a lid.


There was a thing on the news about a kid at the zoo who was flapped at by a peacock. There are a bunch of peacocks that run around loose on the grounds of the zoo, they are pretty big birds, true. So this kid was running up to it repeatedly and the bird finally flew up and scratched the kid. I feel sorry for the little guy, but the parents (who were probably not watching until "The Incident" are "hoping for a new situation with the peacocks" or some such shit. Look at a peacock head, their brains are not very big, they have no problem solving abilities. Then look at the parents heads, well that didn't work. Keep the damn kid from hassling the damn bird, we don't need a lawsuit. Doesn't mean we aren't going to get one.             

This is just a fact, a lot of places would be way more fun if they screened the mean, stupid little kids and didn't let them in. Here is how you start the screening process. If the parent say's for example "Jefferson The Third, are you using your sharing skills?"  Little Jefferson is at that moment pushing, elbowing or taking something out of the hand of a smaller child. The parent should be saying "Knock it off, give it back, it's not your turn." And get a grip on the kid, literally if they don't straighten up. I am sick to death of little snots running around the Zoo, and Aquarium and other kid places and make it a miserable experience for the polite nice kids. My kids and grand kids are the nice ones. I also say "knock it off," if necessary.

International Readers, this part is just a rant about stupid people, I guess I didn't really need to say that, but it's very Seattle/Northwest so it may not be riveting for you. This is my blog I get to decide. It's not mean if it's true.

The question was whether to sign a petition to repeal taxes the legislature just passed on water in bottles, candy, and  beer, all things that are unnecessary for life and probably actually life threatening.

The thing that pissed me off is, we were going to an event, (OK, Beer Festival, I wanted that to sound way more cultural. I don't know what happened I just couldn't leave it alone).

There is one initiative I signed, but it didn't involve undoing recent legislation. The one I won't sign does repeal legislation that just went into effect this month. It's not a great piece of  legislation, and it's not going to work for long, but basic services are going to be cut if it's repealed.  The guy at the booth was all over the reason. (These guys are now paid per signature) "No taxation without representation right?" I think I was pretty nice, I didn't say dumb ass out loud to my credit, but what the hell do people think the legislature is? There is your representation. Vote, Genius.

The part people don't know? The plastic bottle people are hysterical! They have $1,000,000 on the line, JUST IN THIS STATE, to make this tax go away. Coca Cola does not care if there are basic health care services for children. They care that you buy filtered tap water in a bottle for your journey across the parking lot

I'm starting to get it, there are "Grades" Not sure what that means, more later.


I know, you thought you had already successfully made it to the other side of the bitchy bit didn't you?

Driving AGAIN!

When you are driving along in Seattle, especially FIRST AVE, it is your JOB to turn your blinker light on at least by the middle of the block, if you are going to turn left. DO NOT SIT AT A RED LIGHT IN THE LEFT LANE, THEN WHEN THE LIGHT TURNS GREEN TURN YOUR GODDAMMIT SIGNAL ON. Now I'm stuck behind you for at least one light cycle, and one of these days I'm going to get out and punch you in the nose. DO NOT SAY YOU WERE NOT WARNED.

Hmmm, now for a good thing.

I feel slightly ridiculous, I am not immune to advertising, I just talk a good game. Since we are so into the no plastic thing, thinking about how to get around it is becoming automatic.The Comma Editor wanted a margarita at home so we got all the stuff, except the orange juice that he puts on top. We were at the second store and couldn't find the brand that's in a carton only. We finally gave up and got the one with the little plastic lid. We were all the way home when it finally occurred to me that a good way to get orange juice without any plastic is to squeeze it out of an orange.

Those advertisers are good.

I just re-read this, The Comma Editor may not let me have commas, but I have all the other punctuation parts!


  1. I didn't hear that story about the peacock. Even considering the one that lives next door to you whose life I have threatened for waking me up early in the morning several days in a row, I'm on the zoo peacocks side. They've wandered the zoo forever, if you harass them enough to get attacked, I kind of think you have it coming even if you're a little kid.

  2. Now that I've seen the video, I think I'm still on the peacock's side.